Toilet Learning Part Two

If you have made the commitment to work with your child on a daily basis so that they can master their toilet learning skills, the next thing you are probably thinking is, “How do I actually go about potty training?” Good question! Both of you are showing “signs” of readiness. Here’s what’s next:

To Prepare:

Introduce the Concept:
•Allow your child to be present when you go to the bathroom; let them see urine and bowel movements in the toilet.
•Allow your child to observe, touch and become familiar with the toilet.
•Let your child play with flushing the toilet.
•Read books about potty time. (See below for recommendations.)

Encourage Independence:
•Buy an attachment for your bathroom's light switch so that your child can turn the light on and off without help.
•Support your child as they learn to undress and dress themselves when using the bathroom and throughout your normal daily activities.
•Encourage good hygiene and teach your child how to wipe themselves. (This is a higher level skill that will need supervision for a few years.)
•Buy a step-up stool for reaching the toilet and sink for hand washing.

Other helpful tips:
•Consider placing a potty chair or seat on each floor of the house if you live in a multilevel home. •Make the bathroom a fun place. Add special toilet only books and games to your routine.
•Stay with your child when he or she is on the potty chair. Reading or talking to your child when he or she is sitting on the potty may help your child relax.
•If you are training a boy, teach him how to stand and aim into the toilet. Some boys have been so impressed with this technique that they almost automatically potty train.
•If your child does not seem interested or resists- STOP!! Try again in a few weeks.


How do I teach my child to use the toilet?

First, be patient and supportive. After your child has become comfortable with the bathroom, with flushing the toilet, and with sitting on the toilet, you may begin teaching your child to go to the bathroom. Keep your child in loose, easily removable pants. Tell your child that when they need to go potty they need to tell you. Teach them the words or sign you want them to use. Place your child on the toilet whenever he or she signals the need to go to the bathroom.

At first you must be aware of your child’s nonverbal signs. Your child's facial expression may change when he or she feels the need to urinate or to have a bowel movement. Most children have a bowel movement once a day, usually within an hour after eating. Most children urinate within 15 minutes of waking and an hour after having a large drink.

If you and your child are ready truly ready, now is the time to start potty training. Once you truly start though, you can not go back. Tell your child that diapers are for babies and that he or she is not a baby anymore. Go to the store and let your child pick out new “big kid” underwear. When you get home symbolically let him throw away a few of his old diapers and help him put on his underwear. There is no going back. From now on your child will wear underwear.

I know what you are thinking, and yes the first few days are going to be hellish! You will clean up a lot of pee and do a lot of laundry. But this is the most effective way to teach your child how to eliminate in the appropriate place. Do not limit your child’s fluids, except an hour or two before sleeping. Your child will need to experience the feeling of the pee a few or several times in order to understand the cause and effect of his body. You feel pressure, you let the urine out and it gets all over you unless you get to the potty in time. If your child has an accident do not quickly rush them to the potty. You want to teach them to go before, not after the have had an accident. Do not change them into dry clothes right away either. They need to experience the uncomfortable wetness that happens when you wet yourself.

This is a learning process that may take several days. The first few you should probably stay home, but I encourage you to go on small outing so your child can feel what it feels like to have underwear on. For example, the car seat straps will need adjusting, and how to pee in a public restroom. These will all be new experiences for you and your child.

Things to avoid:
•Do not punish your child when he or she has an accident.
•Do not constantly remind or ask your child to use the potty. This may create undue pressure, and typically is met with resistance from the child. (Note: This is also not toilet learning, this is getting your child to sit on the potty every five minutes and hopefully catching a pee before they go in their pants!)
•Don't make your child sit on the toilet against her will.

Finally, if your child is not toilet trained within 3 months, consult your family doctor to rule out any medical issues. The reason that your child has most likely not learned to use the potty is that he or she is simply just not ready. Do not get discouraged. Soon enough diapers will be a thing of the past and you’ll be wishing it didn’t all go by so fast. Cherish these times with all of your heart, even if they do stink!

Recommended Potty Time Books
•“You Can Go to the Potty” by William Sears, M.D., Martha Sears, R.N.
and Renee Andriani (Illustrator)
•“Everyone Poops” Written and illustrated by Taro Gomi
•“Too Big for Diapers” Sesame Street Series
•“First Experiences: It's Potty Time” by Holtzbrinck Publishers