My Baby and More

Because kids don't come with instructions!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Positive Parenting Strategies

Play – Through play, we join our kids in their world. We help them express and understand deep emotions, foster connection, aid the process of emotional healing--and have a great time ourselves while we're at it.

Use Humor - Humor helps reduce frustration, diffuse intensity, and win cooperation.

Offer Choices - Instead of giving orders, give your child a "sense" of control by offering them two choices. Children are more willing to cooperate if they feel like they have some control over the process. Give them some “control” throughout the day and you will notice a big difference in their level of cooperation.

Be Consistent - Include even the youngest children in making "Family Rules". Then stick to them. It's confusing for children when rules are only enforced some of the time. Only set limits you know you can enforce and then be prepared to take a stand.

Use Time In - Time in is the time you spend encouraging your child's "good" behavior instead of just working on changing his "bad" behavior.

Be Respectful – Even when they are doing something you hate, always show respect with your words and actions. Treat your child as you want him or her to treat you as well as others.

Say Yes! by using the "When . . . Then" method – If you are looking for cooperation, yes will always work better than no. Try rephrasing the situation to start the sentence with yes. For example: Your child wants to eat ice cream but it is almost time for dinner. Instead of saying no and risking a confrontation or temper tantrum, say Yes! “Yes, when you eat your dinner, then you may have ice cream.” Don’t for get to stick to it!

Listen – Listen for understanding. This requires that you stop what you are doing and think about what our child is saying. In difficult situations, stop, get on her level, and look at her. Then say, “I am listening. I am trying to understand what you need or want.” Then listen.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Sign Language Bridging the Communication Gap Between you and your Child

Every parent knows that in the early years of parenting, communication between you and your child can be difficult. As a new parent we try to decipher our baby’s cries. Are they hungry, tired, sleepy, lonely, uncomfortable? It’s a constant challenge to figure out what our child needs. What if there was a way to bridge the communication gap between you and your baby? Some say there actually is!

Lately, Baby Sign Language has become a hot topic among new parents. Parents and caregivers, with much success, are learning sign language in hopes to better communicate with their children. Tess, mom of 11 month-old Julia says, “It’s easy, fun, and makes communication a lot less stressful for the whole family!” Who wouldn't want that?

I have personal experience working with children using sign. I started teaching my 2 1/2 year old signs when he was 5 months old. I am also currently teaching my 8 month old. I feel it made a huge difference in my first child's daily experiences. It fostered communication and curbed temper tantrums. The way I see it, the less time and energy a child spends being upset, the more they can spend on learning!

Research has shown that babies who sign have been found to have faster development of speech and language skills, increased intellectual skills and higher self-esteem. A study by Drs. Acredolo and Goodwyn found that signing children outperformed non-signing children in comparison, after comparison. Babies who sign have also been found to be able to understand more words, have larger vocabularies, score higher on IQ tests, and engage in more sophisticated play.

Most research says that you can start introducing the signs, while using the verbal label, as early as you want. The earlier you start the more time you will have to learn the signs and get accustomed to using them as part of your daily interactions. Ideally, you should start exposing your child to signs between 6 and 10 months of age. Do not feel frustrated though if your baby does not sign back to you until they are at least 8 to 12 months old. Remember children understand a lot more before they can communicate.

Children are most receptive to learning more than one language before their second birthday. If a child is exposed to different languages during these formative years, they are more likely to reap the benefits in a variety of ways. There has been a great debate as to what “program” or type of signs a hearing parent should teach their child. Some say use the standard American Sign Language, others believe that if you make up signs you will remember them easier. Personally and professionally I recommend using American Sign Language because ASL is the third most used language in the United States. Not only will you be able to communicate more efficiently with your child, but you are giving them a leading edge in the real world. As an adult, being bilingual makes you a hot commodity and extremely marketable. Although the numbers are growing, companies love hiring multilingual employees because they are few and far between.

American Sign Language can be learned in a variety of ways. You can you can go to the American Sign Language online dictionary here: http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm This is a great tool and it is free! The signs are shown as a video; which many people find more helpful than trying to figure them out by reading a diagram. There are hundreds of words to choose from, so you will be able to look up any word that will be helpful when communicating with your child in your daily activities and routines.

There are some other great websites that will help you get started:
www.signingbaby.com
www.sign2me.com
www.handspeak.com

There are also many programs for purchase which are geared towards children. I recommend Joseph Garcia's “SIGN with your BABY” Series because it uses ASL and it is a great tool to help you and your family learn some basic signs. This program can be found here: http://www.amazoncom/exec/obidos/ASIN/1932354018/ref=nosim/theparentstat-20

Most importantly, as you start out, I recommend teaching your child the signs that will be most helpful to you and him in your daily routines. Some useful signs that you may want to start with include, more, eat, and help. A few others that are very useful are: drink, change (as in diaper) or toilet, sleepy, please, yes, no, stop, and all done. Once your child has mastered some of these important and functional signs, you may choose to move on to others. Just remember that signing with your baby or child is a tool to lessen the frustration of being unable to communicate. Learning and teaching sign should always be a fun and relaxed experience for you and your child.

Mom, Parent Educator, and Author, Colleen Newman has her degree in Early Childhood Education and Psychology and is a Certified Happiest Baby Educator. Colleen’s love for children prompted her to start her business My Baby and More Parent Coaching and Educational Services. My Baby and More provides parents across the country education and support on positive parenting and natural parenting methods such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and attachment parenting through one-on-one phone, email, in-home, and office consultations, seminars, and classes. Colleen loves spending time with her best friend and husband, John, while they have fun raising their two children. © Copyright 2005 My Baby and More All Rights Reserved.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Toddler Sleeping Info.

“How much sleep does a 26 month old need? Do they need a nap?”
Yawning, a Tired Parent

Dear Tired Parent,

Uh Oh! Is someone trying to give up naps? ;)

I HIGHLY recommend “The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers”, written by Elizabeth Pantley.

You will find great information from her book here: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/excerpts/naptimeproblems.htm

In short, Pantley recommends the following:
Age Number of naps Total length of naps Nighttime sleep hours Total sleep
2 years 1 1–2 ½ 11–12 13 – 13 ½
2 ½ years 1 1 ½ -2 11–11 ½ 13 – 13 ½

Just remember that this should only be used as a guide. You are the expert on your children and only you know what is best for them!