My Baby and More

Our Blog has moved

2006-04-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Hi there! After working to get our "theme" created and published for what seems like FOREVER . . . it is finally done. YAY! Please check us out at http://www.MyBabyandMore.com/blog. With this little glitch and also preparing for the release of New Mama's Heart which will be out in the next two weeks, I have not posted on our blog in a while. I plan to get moving and start posting soon!

Thanks for your patience and don't forget to purchase your copy of Near Mama's Heart, a children's book about breastfeeding NOW! http://www.MyBabyandMore.com/NearMamasHeart.html

Fun!

2006-04-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Wow! As the saying goes, "Time flies when you're having fun!" And boy has it been fun!
With the release of Near Mama's Heart just around the corner things have been getting crazy! I can not believe it has been almost two months since I have stopped by!

As I type this at 3 am, while I should be sleeping, I am thinking of what a wonderful day I had playing outside with the children. Such a simple activity that means so much to them. Forget the expensive toys, the pricey music, art, and gymnastics classes. Give them a bucket, a shovel, and a bowl of water and they are happy for hours.

So, we had fun today. And the way its looking the days will be getting warmer and the opportunity to play in the dirt will be greater. Although I thought of myself as the not-so-naturey type, today as I dug in the dirt for worms and made pies from the leaves, grass and mud we had colleted . . . I had fun.

Fun in all the glory of watching my babies turn into little kids, fun nursing the baby as she wiped mud on my shirt, and fun and the time flies.

Positive Parenting Strategies

2006-02-11T19:26:00.000-08:00

Play – Through play, we join our kids in their world. We help them express and understand deep emotions, foster connection, aid the process of emotional healing--and have a great time ourselves while we're at it.

Use Humor - Humor helps reduce frustration, diffuse intensity, and win cooperation.

Offer Choices - Instead of giving orders, give your child a "sense" of control by offering them two choices. Children are more willing to cooperate if they feel like they have some control over the process. Give them some “control” throughout the day and you will notice a big difference in their level of cooperation.

Be Consistent - Include even the youngest children in making "Family Rules". Then stick to them. It's confusing for children when rules are only enforced some of the time. Only set limits you know you can enforce and then be prepared to take a stand.

Use Time In - Time in is the time you spend encouraging your child's "good" behavior instead of just working on changing his "bad" behavior.

Be Respectful – Even when they are doing something you hate, always show respect with your words and actions. Treat your child as you want him or her to treat you as well as others.

Say Yes! by using the "When . . . Then" method – If you are looking for cooperation, yes will always work better than no. Try rephrasing the situation to start the sentence with yes. For example: Your child wants to eat ice cream but it is almost time for dinner. Instead of saying no and risking a confrontation or temper tantrum, say Yes! “Yes, when you eat your dinner, then you may have ice cream.” Don’t for get to stick to it!

Listen – Listen for understanding. This requires that you stop what you are doing and think about what our child is saying. In difficult situations, stop, get on her level, and look at her. Then say, “I am listening. I am trying to understand what you need or want.” Then listen.

Sign Language Bridging the Communication Gap Between you and your Child

2006-02-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

Every parent knows that in the early years of parenting, communication between you and your child can be difficult. As a new parent we try to decipher our baby’s cries. Are they hungry, tired, sleepy, lonely, uncomfortable? It’s a constant challenge to figure out what our child needs. What if there was a way to bridge the communication gap between you and your baby? Some say there actually is!

Lately, Baby Sign Language has become a hot topic among new parents. Parents and caregivers, with much success, are learning sign language in hopes to better communicate with their children. Tess, mom of 11 month-old Julia says, “It’s easy, fun, and makes communication a lot less stressful for the whole family!” Who wouldn't want that?

I have personal experience working with children using sign. I started teaching my 2 1/2 year old signs when he was 5 months old. I am also currently teaching my 8 month old. I feel it made a huge difference in my first child's daily experiences. It fostered communication and curbed temper tantrums. The way I see it, the less time and energy a child spends being upset, the more they can spend on learning!

Research has shown that babies who sign have been found to have faster development of speech and language skills, increased intellectual skills and higher self-esteem. A study by Drs. Acredolo and Goodwyn found that signing children outperformed non-signing children in comparison, after comparison. Babies who sign have also been found to be able to understand more words, have larger vocabularies, score higher on IQ tests, and engage in more sophisticated play.

Most research says that you can start introducing the signs, while using the verbal label, as early as you want. The earlier you start the more time you will have to learn the signs and get accustomed to using them as part of your daily interactions. Ideally, you should start exposing your child to signs between 6 and 10 months of age. Do not feel frustrated though if your baby does not sign back to you until they are at least 8 to 12 months old. Remember children understand a lot more before they can communicate.

Children are most receptive to learning more than one language before their second birthday. If a child is exposed to different languages during these formative years, they are more likely to reap the benefits in a variety of ways. There has been a great debate as to what “program” or type of signs a hearing parent should teach their child. Some say use the standard American Sign Language, others believe that if you make up signs you will remember them easier. Personally and professionally I recommend using American Sign Language because ASL is the third most used language in the United States. Not only will you be able to communicate more efficiently with your child, but you are giving them a leading edge in the real world. As an adult, being bilingual makes you a hot commodity and extremely marketable. Although the numbers are growing, companies love hiring multilingual employees because they are few and far between.

American Sign Language can be learned in a variety of ways. You can you can go to the American Sign Language online dictionary here: http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm This is a great tool and it is free! The signs are shown as a video; which many people find more helpful than trying to figure them out by reading a diagram. There are hundreds of words to choose from, so you will be able to look up any word that will be helpful when communicating with your child in your daily activities and routines.

There are some other great websites that will help you get started:
• www.signingbaby.com
• www.sign2me.com
• www.handspeak.com

There are also many programs for purchase which are geared towards children. I recommend Joseph Garcia's “SIGN with your BABY” Series because it uses ASL and it is a great tool to help you and your family learn some basic signs. This program can be found here: http://www.amazoncom/exec/obidos/ASIN/1932354018/ref=nosim/theparentstat-20

Most importantly, as you start out, I recommend teaching your child the signs that will be most helpful to you and him in your daily routines. Some useful signs that you may want to start with include, more, eat, and help. A few others that are very useful are: drink, change (as in diaper) or toilet, sleepy, please, yes, no, stop, and all done. Once your child has mastered some of these important and functional signs, you may choose to move on to others. Just remember that signing with your baby or child is a tool to lessen the frustration of being unable to communicate. Learning and teaching sign should always be a fun and relaxed experience for you and your child.

Mom, Parent Educator, and Author, Colleen Newman has her degree in Early Childhood Education and Psychology and is a Certified Happiest Baby Educator. Colleen’s love for children prompted her to start her business My Baby and More Parent Coaching and Educational Services. My Baby and More provides parents across the country education and support on positive parenting and natural parenting methods such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and attachment parenting through one-on-one phone, email, in-home, and office consultations, seminars, and classes. Colleen loves spending time with her best friend and husband, John, while they have fun raising their two children. © Copyright 2005 My Baby and More All Rights Reserved.

Toddler Sleeping Info.

2006-02-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

“How much sleep does a 26 month old need? Do they need a nap?”
Yawning, a Tired Parent

Dear Tired Parent,

Uh Oh! Is someone trying to give up naps? ;)

I HIGHLY recommend “The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers”, written by Elizabeth Pantley.

You will find great information from her book here: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/excerpts/naptimeproblems.htm

In short, Pantley recommends the following:
Age Number of naps Total length of naps Nighttime sleep hours Total sleep
2 years 1 1–2 ½ 11–12 13 – 13 ½
2 ½ years 1 1 ½ -2 11–11 ½ 13 – 13 ½

Just remember that this should only be used as a guide. You are the expert on your children and only you know what is best for them!

A Little Baby-Care Perspective

2006-01-28T19:08:00.000-08:00

As a new mom, you will get nothing done. Whole days will go by and you won't remember what you did except feed the baby, change the baby's diapers, get the baby to sleep. Doing "nothing" takes a lot of time. But you've done more by not doing anything than you did in entire days at the office. And it's way more important than anything you've ever done at work. Remember that --- it's easy to forget. - - Amy Einhorn in her book, The Fourth Trimester, And You Thought Labor Was Hard . . . (Crown Publishers, 2001).

I love this quote. I think it sums up how all moms feel, and gives them the confidence they need to feel good about their new role as a mom. It is not easy to transtion from career woman to mom. In fact, it can be down right traumatic.

After sending this quote out to some fellow Mommies, several moms sent me some noteable comments in return. The most authentic response came from a dear friend, who thanked me for the reminder and asked me if she could still be considered a "new mom". Her children are 1 and 3 years old.

At first I laughed, with her, because I feel the same way sometimes. Even though I have been a Mama for almost three years, my days still tend to embody this honest and realistic quote. I emailed her back and told her yes, she is still a new mom - but even more so this quote should encompass moms as a whole.

Sometimes we get so caught up in doing all the so called right things; playgroups, gymnastics, art classes etc. that we forget that the most important thing we do as moms is "nothing". Enjoy this time because before you know it those precious babies will be doing everything without you!

Toilet Learning Part Two

2006-01-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

If you have made the commitment to work with your child on a daily basis so that they can master their toilet learning skills, the next thing you are probably thinking is, “How do I actually go about potty training?” Good question! Both of you are showing “signs” of readiness. Here’s what’s next:

To Prepare:

Introduce the Concept:
•Allow your child to be present when you go to the bathroom; let them see urine and bowel movements in the toilet.
•Allow your child to observe, touch and become familiar with the toilet.
•Let your child play with flushing the toilet.
•Read books about potty time. (See below for recommendations.)

Encourage Independence:
•Buy an attachment for your bathroom's light switch so that your child can turn the light on and off without help.
•Support your child as they learn to undress and dress themselves when using the bathroom and throughout your normal daily activities.
•Encourage good hygiene and teach your child how to wipe themselves. (This is a higher level skill that will need supervision for a few years.)
•Buy a step-up stool for reaching the toilet and sink for hand washing.

Other helpful tips:
•Consider placing a potty chair or seat on each floor of the house if you live in a multilevel home. •Make the bathroom a fun place. Add special toilet only books and games to your routine.
•Stay with your child when he or she is on the potty chair. Reading or talking to your child when he or she is sitting on the potty may help your child relax.
•If you are training a boy, teach him how to stand and aim into the toilet. Some boys have been so impressed with this technique that they almost automatically potty train.
•If your child does not seem interested or resists- STOP!! Try again in a few weeks.

How do I teach my child to use the toilet?

First, be patient and supportive. After your child has become comfortable with the bathroom, with flushing the toilet, and with sitting on the toilet, you may begin teaching your child to go to the bathroom. Keep your child in loose, easily removable pants. Tell your child that when they need to go potty they need to tell you. Teach them the words or sign you want them to use. Place your child on the toilet whenever he or she signals the need to go to the bathroom.

At first you must be aware of your child’s nonverbal signs. Your child's facial expression may change when he or she feels the need to urinate or to have a bowel movement. Most children have a bowel movement once a day, usually within an hour after eating. Most children urinate within 15 minutes of waking and an hour after having a large drink.

If you and your child are ready truly ready, now is the time to start potty training. Once you truly start though, you can not go back. Tell your child that diapers are for babies and that he or she is not a baby anymore. Go to the store and let your child pick out new “big kid” underwear. When you get home symbolically let him throw away a few of his old diapers and help him put on his underwear. There is no going back. From now on your child will wear underwear.

I know what you are thinking, and yes the first few days are going to be hellish! You will clean up a lot of pee and do a lot of laundry. But this is the most effective way to teach your child how to eliminate in the appropriate place. Do not limit your child’s fluids, except an hour or two before sleeping. Your child will need to experience the feeling of the pee a few or several times in order to understand the cause and effect of his body. You feel pressure, you let the urine out and it gets all over you unless you get to the potty in time. If your child has an accident do not quickly rush them to the potty. You want to teach them to go before, not after the have had an accident. Do not change them into dry clothes right away either. They need to experience the uncomfortable wetness that happens when you wet yourself.

This is a learning process that may take several days. The first few you should probably stay home, but I encourage you to go on small outing so your child can feel what it feels like to have underwear on. For example, the car seat straps will need adjusting, and how to pee in a public restroom. These will all be new experiences for you and your child.

Things to avoid:
•Do not punish your child when he or she has an accident.
•Do not constantly remind or ask your child to use the potty. This may create undue pressure, and typically is met with resistance from the child. (Note: This is also not toilet learning, this is getting your child to sit on the potty every five minutes and hopefully catching a pee before they go in their pants!)
•Don't make your child sit on the toilet against her will.

Finally, if your child is not toilet trained within 3 months, consult your family doctor to rule out any medical issues. The reason that your child has most likely not learned to use the potty is that he or she is simply just not ready. Do not get discouraged. Soon enough diapers will be a thing of the past and you’ll be wishing it didn’t all go by so fast. Cherish these times with all of your heart, even if they do stink!

Recommended Potty Time Books
•“You Can Go to the Potty” by William Sears, M.D., Martha Sears, R.N.
and Renee Andriani (Illustrator)
•“Everyone Poops” Written and illustrated by Taro Gomi
•“Too Big for Diapers” Sesame Street Series
•“First Experiences: It's Potty Time” by Holtzbrinck Publishers

Toilet Learning Part One

2006-01-19T05:44:00.000-08:00

If you have a toddler, you have most likely been asked the standard question, “Is she potty trained yet?” Even more likely is that your answer is no! Ultimately toilet learning will not be achieved unless your child is ready. This usually occurs when a child is 18 to 24 months of age. However, it is not uncommon for a child to still be in diapers at 2 and a half to 3 years of age.

Most kids don't start potty training until they're at least 2 years old. In fact, recent statistics show that at least a third of all American children are still in diapers after their 3rd birthday. Developmentally, kids are all over the map: Some kids are ready and eager to start as early as 18 months, while others show zero interest until they're three or four years old.

More important than your child's age are a number of other factors: Can he stay dry for at least three hours during the day? Is he able to understand and follow simple directions? Does he seem interested in "big-kid" activities, such as brushing his teeth, cleaning up his toys, and using the toilet? If so, he may be ready.

Other important signs of your child’s readiness include:
•being able to follow simple instructions
•understands words about the toileting process
•can regulate the muscles responsible for elimination
•can signal that their diaper is wet or soiled
•expresses a need to go (verbally or through sign)
•keeps a diaper dry for three or more hours
•can get to the potty on her own
•can take off diapers or pull down underpants with minimal assistance
•wakes up dry from naps and or in the morning

Your toddler may be showing all the signs of readiness, but did you know that you also have to be completely ready for the toilet learning process? You truly need to have the energy, patience, and time. After initial preparation and to officially begin this process, you will need to devote an intensive three to five days to your child and his toilet learning. Then, after the initial learning phase, another two to three months of continued effort on your part will be required.

We all know parenting is not easy. Getting through this developmental milestone is one great example of just how hard it is! An experienced mother of four once told me, “Being toilet trained is such an overrated accomplishment. Diapers are so easy in comparison to cleaning up after accidents, reminding them to go, and using public rest rooms! Yuck!”

If you have made the commitment to work with your child on a daily basis so that they can master their toilet learning skills, the next thing you are probably thinking is, “How do I actually go about potty training?” Stay tuned for what to do next . . .

Night Time Potty Training – Just go with the flow!

2006-01-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

So your child has successfully mastered using the bathroom and staying dry during the day. Congratulations to you both! But what about at night? Nighttime potty training is hot topic for parents of children of all ages. Bed-wetting is more common than you would expect, and can actually be prevalent until the onset of puberty. In fact, in the U.S., about 5 to 7 million children aged 6 years or older suffer from primary nocturnal enuresis also called nighttime bed-wetting or the involuntary loss of urine at night when they could reasonably be expected to stay dry. If a child wets the bed after age 5 or 6, there is an 85% chance he or she will still do it a year later, based on statistics from the National Kidney Foundation (NKF).

Alan Greene, MD, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at Stanford University in Stanford, California explains, "Bed-wetting is very common in younger kids, in fact, it is so common that it is even considered normal before age 5. Nighttime dryness is the last part of toilet learning that kids achieve. At ages 6 and below, bed-wetting only needs to be addressed if the child is feeling really bad about himself as a result, he says. Unless there is some other medical or emotional issue, the rule of thumb is that bedwetting should not be considered a problem until a child is at least six or seven years old.

Young children sleep very deeply and this makes it difficult for them to wake up to use the bathroom. Young children are still developing the control of their bladder, which is a major developmental milestone that can take many years to master. Keep in mind that bedwetting is also hereditary. If you or your husband were chronic bed-wetters or “late bloomers” in this area, chances are your child will be too.

Helpful hints to guide your children toward success:

Limit you child’s intake of liquids two to three hours before bedtime.
Wake him or her and encourage them to use the bathroom before you go to bed.
Encourage your child to use a potty that you have placed in their room. This may make it easier for your child to use the bathroom because they will not have to leave their room, walk down the hall, and turn on a bright light. You can set up a potty in their room, and call it a “nighttime potty”.
Get up before your child in the morning. At the first sign of wakefulness, get them up and have them use the bathroom. Studies show that children urinate within 15 minutes of stirring from a sleep.
To make life easier on you, I encourage the use of what we have named “night time underwear”, or pull-ups.

Remember to be patient and positive. Your child can not control this behavior and will be more successful with your casual manner about the issue. This too shall pass but for now - just go with the flow!

Colleen Newman, CHBE, is a Mom, author, and the owner of My Baby and More Parent Coaching and Educational Services. She has her degree in Early Childhood Education and Psychology. With several years of teaching experience; working with infants through adults, she has a passion for helping each child and parent live happy, healthy, and secure. Colleen also loves spending time with her best friend and husband, John, and raising her 2 year old son and infant daughter. © Copyright 2005 My Baby and More All Rights Reserved.

Positive Parenting

2006-01-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

One of My Baby and More's goals is to provide children with a safe, warm, and loving environment in which they can grow and learn to their full potential. To achieve this goal we feel we must provide parents with the necessary tools needed to foster this nurturing environment. Parenting skills are just that - skills. We are not born knowing how to take "good" care of our children. It is a skill that is developed over time.

My Baby and More is proud to offer a variety of ways that parents can brush up on their parenting skills. Our most popular way is participating in our Positive Parenting Workshop. This workshop provides an outlet for parents to learn the skills needed to respond to the daily challenges or parenting, while talking with other parents about the issues that they are trying to learn from. Many parents find comfort in knowing that they are not the only ones whose children melt down in the candy isle, hit their brother, or make them feel emotions they have never felt, before having children.

There is an amazing strength in being Positive. Positive Parenting can make a huge difference in the quality of your family's lives. After consultations, classes, and seminars, our clients are ready to try things a little differently. Many parents ask me what books I recommend to further advance their knowledge and skills. Here are a few of my favorites:

Playful Parenting By Lawrence J. Cohen

Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1000 Parenting Tips
By Elizabeth Pantley, William Sears

The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten
By Martha Sears, William Sears

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline By Becky A. Bailey, Ph. D.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic By Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old By Harvey Karp, Paula Spencer

The Power of Positive Parenting: A Wonderful Way to Raise Children By Glenn I. Latham

My Baby and More

2006-01-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the My Baby and More Blog. We will discuss a variety of parenting topics including discipline issues, temper tantrums, breastfeeding support, babywearing, and many other issues that parents just like you, are working through on a daily basis. Please feel free to email me at Colleen@MyBabyandMore.com, or reply in the comments section, if you have a question or an idea that you would like to see addressed here.

~Special Notice~
"Near Mama's Heart", a children's book about breastfeeding, written by Colleen Newman is scheduled for release in the Spring of 2006. Pre-order your copy NOW for a Special Limited Time Only Price of $12.99!! This is over 20% off the regular retail price. For more information and to purchase Near Mama's Heart go to: http://www.mybabyandmore.com/PreorderNMH.html

About the Book
After searching for a realistic children’s book about breastfeeding to share with her son, and soon to be big brother, and to help him understand breastfeeding, Colleen Newman was inspired to write “Near Mama's Heart”.

“Near Mama’s Heart”, a gentle and loving book with real pictures of nursing babies and their families, describes the experience of being breastfed from a child’s perspective.

This book will warm the heart of readers of all ages and help children understand the beauty and importance of breastfeeding.

"An absolutely wonderful children's book about mamas, babies, and breastfeeding. My little nursling wanted to read it again and again!" -Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC, RLC, www.kellymom.com